The Comparison Trap - How Social Media is Ruining Your Mental Health.
Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy
Social media
Celebrity culture
Marketing
TV shows and other forms of media can set the stage for comparison especially for women.
All of these outlets present seemingly “perfect” bodies, lives. relationships, careers and children which can pressure women into believing that this is what their lives should look like.
Magazines will pose questions like “Do you have ugly cellulite?” and “Are your hips too wide?”
This can lead to a mindset of comparison
The comparison trap is the habit of measuring your life against others and is one of the most toxic behaviours we can engage in. The idea “the grass is greener” is a wild misconception fuelled by jealous evaluation, and often leads to stress and anxiety.
When we focus on what others have or are doing, it takes away the joy in our own life and anchors our attention on what we think we are missing based on someone else’s life.
Yes it’s ok to feel good about other peoples happy moments, but when their content makes you jealous or envious, even a tiny bit, you are robbing yourself of the same happiness.
It doesn’t take much to fall into the comparison trap.
Almost every fitness studio has mirrors that reflect similarities and differences in body image.
Plenty of classes conspicuously display each participant’s performance metrics for all to see.
And then there’s social media, providing endless content for daily comparisons and judgments.
Fitness professionals are not immune to comparison either. I’ve struggled with social media for years, that I’m not super muscly or ripped 24/7. The accounts I used to follow made me feel like shit, I would never stack up to these guys so whats the point?
I know. Ridiculous, right?
This got me thinking about the issues around comparison and body image.
The only reason I felt ‘less than’ was because I conditioned myself to think that all trainers look like shredded fitness models. Somewhere deep in my psyche I accepted that being fit meant looking a specific way and that the only way I could demonstrate my value as a trainer is to fit a specific aesthetic mould.
We all know that’s complete bullshit, So here’s how to get out of it:
Curate Your Social Media
Social media is particularly good at making women feel like they are lacking something and breeding a scarcity mindset. Seeing peoples perfectly crafted highlight reel and accomplishments can cause women to feel inferior and bring up bad feelings.
I encourage you to do an audit of your social media to identify the accounts that bring you down rather than lift you up and unfollow those accounts. It may be difficult if you feel the account is inspiring in some way, but to avoid the endless comparison it’s better to let it go.
Ask yourself these questions
Are the post consistently helpful?
Are the post most often making me happy?
Are the posts adding to my life or detracting?
Are the post distracting me from the things in my own life I am grateful for?
Go offline
We spend countless hours scrolling on our phones.
Why not do something offline instead?
Seriously, give it a go, I’ve tried it and it’s so freeing. If you’ve always wanted to visit a new city grab some friends and go (just make sure you turn off your social media alerts).
It’s important to live your own life, rather than looking at photos of someone else’s.
Remember You Are Unique
This is an apples and oranges issue.
Comparing your body to someone else’s discounts the fact that you are unique.
Your goals, training, circumstances are entirely different than someone else’s.
The effort I put into my nutrition and training is different than someone who trains 2x a day and works a job where they’re moving around constantly.
You are not the same as the one you’re comparing yourself to.
Question EVERYTHING!
Unfortunately, there are many people on social media who give fitness and dietary advice without any form of qualification. It is SHOCKING!
If they’re not a registered dietitian, or accredited nutritional therapist, take their words with a pinch of salt.
An influencer sharing information about their diet or calorie intake does not necessarily mean you should follow the same plan.
Their body is different to yours. If you’re looking to make a lifestyle change, contact a professional who can support and guide you.
Grow Yourself
Identify some action steps you can take to shift your focus way from others and onto yourself and your goals.
Comparing yourself to someone else will not motivate you.
It will diminish your own work and belittle everything that you do in and out of the gym as ‘less than’.
When we focus on someone else being ‘better than’ ourselves in someway, we adopt a lack or scarcity mindset. But when you express gratitude for where you are and what you’re capable of right now, you change that mindset from lack to abundance.
When I compare myself to someone I feel defeated.
But then I start looking at all the things I’ve got right – I exercise 5-6 times a week, I eat healthy and meal prep every week, I can go rock climbing, snowboarding or mud running without my body falling apart.
My clothes fit great. My legs are awesome, my olympic lifts are getting stronger, and I can do pretty much any fitness activity on a whim and come out the other end just fine.
When I frame my thoughts around gratitude and abundance I am super proud of what I do now and how far I’ve come in my training.
I am fit, strong, and I can enjoy an active and healthy lifestyle because I have great habits locked down.
Suddenly, the fact that I don’t look like a cover model doesn’t matter.
It’s called perspective.
Try it.
Just write down 5 things you kick ass in and start to feel your perceptions shift.
Final Thoughts
As a coach it’s part of my job to help my clients with the comparison trap and to cultivate a growth and abundance mindset.
I want my clients to hold power over themselves, their bodies and ultimately their lives, these simple steps are how we can begin to do that.
Too many coaches don’t know how to coach, there is no focus on building habits or cultivating mindset, they just jump straight to meal and workout plans and skip the stuff that matters - you, as a person.
If you are looking to make that change, work with a coach who understands and respects individuality and is trained to work with women then you should
apply for ONLINE COACHING HERE
Hi, I’m Aaron Schiavone, owner of Mind Muscle Personal Training. Over the past 5+ years I have helped women increase their self confidence, improve their relationship with food, improve their health, become stronger, fitter and happier.